From Zambia: The Dance...goes on

I’m not a good dancer, literally. But when it comes to subtle interpersonal relations, negotiations, empathizing and responding, I’m usually pretty good. And by usually, I mean “most times but not right now.”

The dance right now is the complex navigation of the working relationship with our local partner, Disacare. It’s complicated because of all the usual reasons: we are friends but also work partners, we have different resources to bring to bear, we have different agendas personally and professionally. This has always been the case for the 3 years I’ve known the Disacare team, but for some reason everything seems more complicated on this trip. The power imbalances seem greater. The economic implications of the project seem more significant. The philosophical discussions around charitable work vs. market-based work seem more loaded. The operational challenges of project implementation vs. academic research seem harder to manage.

Part of this is definitely a shift in my perspective. My second time in Lusaka, a few years of international work under my belt, and different things seem important. Maybe after experiencing so many of the obvious differences between life in California and life here, the other, more subtle, issues surface with better clarity. Whereas before I probably thought (if I was thinking) that our partner was leading when in fact I was forging ahead without listening, now I recognize the power dynamics much more easily, sometimes acutely.

Part of this is probably a shift in the outlook of Disacare. The organization has just undergone a significant change in operational funding, and they are struggling to establish a clear strategy for financial sustainability. And it’s no small shift for them—they are trying to move from a mostly donation-supported model to revenue-based self-sufficiency, and that’s hard.  The resulting uncertainty and stress have created a weightiness that is omnipresent and hard to ignore; it is the elephant in the room in our planning meetings and brings a sharpness to the issues and tensions that are always present.

So the dance goes on. We try to carefully and respectfully negotiate and push and argue and concede, each side trying to juggle priorities and agendas. I feel clumsy at times, and often wonder if my partner feels the same. Fortunately we have some time to try to sort through this. Let the next song begin. 

Bryan Pon, UC Davis PhD candidate in Geography accompanied on this trip by Edward Silva, UC Davis undergraduate in International Agricultural Development