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A Familiar Face by Yao Guan

Taken in the Toul Sleng Genocide Museum, Building B.


On August 13, 2016, I went to the Toul Sleng Genocide Museum in Phnom Penh, Cambodia. We took a tuk tuk (local taxi transportation) there for $3. It was $3 for student admission and $6 for regular. Of course, we used our UCD student ID and got the discount. The entrance had mist spraying from the roof top to cool down visitors on a hot summer day. It was an intricate system. They had an audio device that straps around your neck like a necklace and you can listen to different tracks depending on the location you are standing in. There were about 30 stops that tells a different history about S-21, a security prison for the Khmer Rouge killing in the mid-late 1970's.

There were 4 buildings for show. Building A was the torture chamber and each cell had giant photos mounted on the wall illustrating the gore and the horror that happened. Building B had photos of victims and Khmer Rouge officials. There I found something special. Building C was the prison cell for the victims. Each cell was made of crumbling red bricks reinforced with steel bars. On the top floor, the cells were made of wood. There were very little room to move around in each cell. It seemed almost like the cells in a horror movie. Walking through these cells, I felt a chill around my neck. A few steps more, a voice in my head told me to stop and turn back. It was as if the voice was warning me about something evil lurking in the background. Perhaps I was just paranoid, but I can't help but feel there was something paranormal about this experience. Building D had paintings that depict the types of torture that S-21 once used. There were machetes, pickaxes, and insect/water torture devices, actual skulls of victims and shackles that hold groups of prisoners together. Though I was not alive during the event, years have passed and S-21 had become a museum, I could still feel the horror it once brought to these victims.

Building B. What was so special about building B? What did I find there that got me so obsessed with this experience? Building B was essentially the record holder for the victims that were brought to S-21. There were black and white photos of many victims. One in particular caught my attention. Her name was Hout Bophana. She was also known as Seda, or Sedadeth. A quote from Shakmati's photo description about Bophana describes her well, "Born circa 1951, executed by the Khmer Rouge at the killing fields on 18 March 1977 at the age of about [25]. In her short life, she had survived rape and the resultant birth, starvation, persecution and finally several months of torture in the s-21 prison. Her husband Sitha also spent several months in the same prison, unbeknownst to Bophana and possibly only 10s of meters away. He also perished at the killing fields in 1977. Her calm and dignified pose shows a strength of spirit that makes her stand out from the endless walls of photos in the prison museum. But even such strength wasn't enough to stop her turning in countless relatives and contacts through 1000s of pages of mainly fictional confessions she was forced to write under torture."

If you want to learn more about her story, you can research about her through Elizabeth Becker's book Bophana: Love in the Time of the Khmer Rouge.
http://bophana.org/boutique/1284-2/

When I first saw her photo, I can't help but feel a sense of familiarity. It felt as if I knew her and she was communicating to me through the glass penal that encased her thoughts and spirit. The unyielding stare from her eyes, the strength in her posture, and the beauty that was captured was overwhelming. She seemed almost modern; someone from this period in which I live in. Her story was like a fictional tragic story that you see from a love drama. When listening to the recorded track in the museum about her, I can't help but want to cry. Her story resonates greatly and I can empathize with the turmoils she felt and experienced. The anger and sadness I felt was immeasurable. The feelings I felt cannot be put in words.

This is a little thought from me to you. I guess this is the best I can do as my way of ventilation.

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